Ep 1 | You're Not Broken - You're Becoming

Every leader has a moment. That quiet pause between I think I can, I'm not so sure. Welcome to Tutem Talk with me, Karen Ants. Together, we'll explore what it means to lead with heart, to build confidence not from control, but from connection. Because your leadership isn't about perfection.

It's about presence. And when you trust yourself, your team will too. Join me as we explore leadership in the everyday and beyond. Welcome to Tutem Talk. I'm your host Karen Ants.

This is a space for leaders who feel deeply. Leaders who care about their people, their purpose, their presence, and who sometimes find themselves quietly wondering, am I doing this right? Here we talk about leadership in the everyday. Not the polished picture perfect kind, but the kind that happens between meetings and hard conversations and in the quiet moments when you question yourself. Because your leadership isn't about perfection.

It's about presence. And when you trust yourself, your team will too. If you've ever left a meeting thinking, did I say the right thing Or ended your day feeling like you gave everything that you had and it still wasn't enough. You're not alone. I've worked with so many leaders who carry that quiet ache.

They're successful on paper. Smart, dedicated, capable. But inside, they feel uncertain. They wonder if maybe someone else would be better at this. That feeling, it can sound like failure, I know, but it's not.

It's feedback. It's your mind and body saying something's shifting. You're being stretched and growth always stretches us before it strengthens us. Sometimes we confuse discomfort with disqualification. We assume that if it feels hard we must be doing something wrong.

But often that feeling is simply the growing edge of our leadership, the place where old patterns are breaking so something new can emerge. I think one of the most harmful myths in leadership is the idea that you have to be quote unquote finished to be effective. That good leaders always know the right thing to say. That confidence means never wavering. But real leadership?

It's much more organic than that. It's like tending to a garden. You don't plant once and walk away. You water, prune, weed, replant. You adapt to the season you're in.

And just like a garden, sometimes the most important growth happens underground where no one can see it. There are seasons of leadership where everything looks still from the outside, but inside the roots are deepening. Those are the times you're building capacity for empathy, for trust, for courage. If you're in a season that feels quiet, uncertain, or even messy, You don't need to rush it. You might not be breaking down.

You might be breaking open. When doubt shows up, instead of judging it, I invite you to get curious about it. Ask yourself, what is this doubt trying to show me? Maybe it's revealing where you've been carrying too much alone or where you've been over functioning, saying yes to everything because you fear letting someone down. Sometimes doubt simply means that you're expanding beyond what's comfortable.

It's your nervous system catching up to your new level of leadership. I remember a coaching client, a school leader, who once said, Kara, I feel like I'm constantly failing my people. They come to me for answers, and I don't always have them. We unpacked that together and what she realized was powerful. She wasn't failing.

She was learning to share leadership, to create space for her team to think, decide, and grow. Her doubt wasn't a sign that she was broken. It was a signal that she was becoming the kind of leader who empowers others. So when doubt whispers, you're not enough, try responding with, What if this is me evolving? That simple reframe can shift everything.

You are becoming every time you make a choice rooted in awareness. Every time you say, I don't know, but I'll find out. Every time you pause before reacting. And every time you apologize or change course, not from shame, but from integrity. Becoming doesn't look flashy.

It looks like holding your ground during a hard conversation without shutting down. It looks like trusting your intuition even when others don't see the full picture yet. It looks like giving yourself permission to rest because you know that clarity won't come through exhaustion. Leadership isn't about adding more. It's often about unlearning.

Unlearning perfectionism. Unlearning over responsibility. Unlearning the need to prove your worth. The leaders who inspire me most aren't the ones who never falter. They're the ones who stay curious when they do.

So I want to invite you to take a breath here. Let's slow down the pace for a moment. Think about your current season of leadership. Where do you feel that tension, that stretch between what's known and what's next? That space might be your becoming zone.

Maybe it's in how you delegate. Maybe it's in how you speak to yourself after a hard day. Maybe it's in how you're learning to trust your team or to trust yourself again. Whatever it is, it's not a flaw to fix. It's an invitation to grow.

Growth rarely looks graceful, but it always leaves you stronger. And over time, those small moments of awareness accumulate, becoming wisdom, presence, and peace. If no one's told you lately you're doing brave work. You're leading in real time in imperfect conditions with a full heart. That's sacred work.

Remember, you're not broken. You're becoming. You are learning to lead yourself with the same compassion and steadiness you offer to everyone else. And the more you do that, the more your leadership becomes an act of wholeness, not performance. Thank you for spending this time with me today.

If something in this episode spoke to you, I'd love for you to stay connected. You can follow Tutem Talk wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you're feeling generous, please share this episode with a friend or colleague who might need the reminder that growth often hides inside self doubt. Because that's how our community grows. Through shared stories, honest reflection, and the courage to lead from the inside out.

Until next time, take a breath, trust your process, and remember your becoming is the most beautiful thing about your leadership. I know you have a lot of options on how you carve out your day and spend your time and I'm honored that you decided to spend some time here today at Tutem Talk. Remember that leadership, it isn't something that we master once. It's something we grow into moment by moment. My hope is that today offered you a little more clarity, a little more courage, and a reminder that you're not leading alone.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who might need it too. And remember, confidence doesn't come from having all the answers. It grows from connection, curiosity, and the courage to keep showing up. I'm Karen Ants, and this has been Tutem Talk, exploring leadership in the everyday and beyond.